Wax play is everything you need for your kinky lifestyle.
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if both you and your partner were open to kinks?
If you’re new to the world of BDSM or have a new partner, it can be a little bit daunting. However, if you go about it the right way, the benefits it offers your relationship, and personal growth are immense.
Do you know your openness to experiences has a more direct effect on your personal relationship more than any other parts of your relationship?
Your time during wax play might be one of the most intimate moments you can share with your partner. While weaving this new dimension into your realm of sensory play, you’ll create more than goosebumps and gasps. You’ll build the trust in your relationship and harbor a new sense of attentiveness and care.
You may already have a collection of leather, feathers, and chains. Maybe you’re just curious about trying something new. Either way, you can always learn something new about how to responsibly enjoy kinky sessions.
Wax play can be dangerous and can cause temporary injuries (Sometimes permanent!) if carried out incorrectly. Please consult an expert/doctor before playing with wax or any other risky activities.
Wax Play: What is it?
Wax play is temperature-based BDSM play, which introduces a slight sensation to your skin. In short, it’s dripping hot wax on your submissive’s body.
Some of you might wonder what’s so appealing about it. The only answer to that is to try it for yourself. What’s the fun in sex if you don’t explore your own boundaries and desires?
Although it might seem like an easy task to do (Just drip wax, right?) engaging in temperature play is no simple matter. Like every BDSM adventure, there will be precautions you need to take during it. Ending the night with contented sighs and smiles from everyone will require constant attention and research.
Don’t let the word “research” dampen the mood though. We’ve already taken care of that part for you!
Health and Safety – Kinky Doesn’t Mean Dangerous!
Sessions with hot wax can be some of your best or worst experiences depending on how you approach it. Giving your partner a warm, tingling symphony of the senses requires more than just dripping low-temperature candles.
Let’s look at the basics you should know when preparing for a responsible candle play session.
Candle play consist of fire, hot wax, and of course, the best kind of pain. However, the point of giving pain is not to physically harm your partner or put them in danger. When you’re dealing with high temperatures, you should have the right tools to avoid that danger.
You can’t use just any candle or other wax molds laying around the house. This can very well lead to first and second-degree burns. Instead, there are special types of candles and tools made just for responsible BDSM.
Scroll down to see our recommended list of safety equipment to make sure you’re starting out right.
Even with the right equipment, risk of blistering still exists. How does this happen? There are two ways:
- The wax can pool up between body parts. When it sits there for too long, it will trap heat and leave painful blisters. Since this is not the kind of pain you or your partner want to feel, practice attentiveness.
- If you prolong dripping on one body part or area, the wax does not have time to cool. This will also lead to burns and blisters. It’s just like spanking – if you hit the same area repetitively, pleasure quickly turns to the wrong kind of pain. Instead, you should move around to different areas of the body.
Allergies and Medical Conditions
Patch testing for allergies and skin conditions is a necessity. Do take note of resulting scars, rashes, or other marks due to different medical conditions (sunburn, eczema, etc.). No matter how much your partner enjoys this, a permanent scar for temporary pleasure is not worth it.
Additionally, certain medications make people more sensitive to wax. So please kindly consult your doctor before engaging in wax play.
Body Sensitivity and Pain Tolerance
Just as you should patch test for allergies and other reactions, you should patch test for your partner’s pain tolerance. Pain can be pleasurable, but preferences and tolerances are unique for each person.
To start testing, light the candle and let it sit for a few minutes. Once you notice the liquid wax begin to pool, you’ll want to test it on yourself first. This way you’ll understand what your partner will be feeling later. To do this, hold the candle about a foot above your forearm. Let a few drops fall onto a more sensitive area like your wrist to really feel how hot it is.
Time to Play – The Body and the Mind
Now it’s time to let your partner join in on the fun. How and where do you start?
First, tying a blindfold and restraints on your partner will heighten their sensations. The blindfold takes away one of their senses, making the other ones more intense. The inability to know where the next drop will fall (blindfold) or move away from it (restraints) escalates their mental and physical pleasure.
Now, where to begin? Build your way up from less sensitive areas to more sensitive. Again, it varies with each person, but typically the back or belly are good places to start. You could also start at the shoulders and forge a wax pathway down to more sensitive areas like:
- Inner thighs
- Soles of Feet
- Lower belly (where it joins the hips)
As you go, watch your partner’s reaction. Move the candle higher or lower until you find their sweet heat spot. If you aren’t sure, just ask them how it feels. You might find that some people will have absolute “no-go” areas to avoid. Communication is key in all relationships and especially during kinky sessions.
Do not for any reason use the wax internally. Keep it out of eyes, ears, and mouths! Keep it out of vaginal, anal, and urethral cavities!
Do take note that the candle’s color may or may not affect temperature for some brands. Start with low temp candles before moving up the kink ladder.
Wax play is a lot of fun, but you are still literally playing with fire. Here are some tips to keep your home and lives intact.
- Don’t set the candle somewhere that it will easily tip over. Prevent tipping with a candle holder. It will only put you out a dollar or two and potentially save your lives. Even low heat candles can start fires on flammable materials like sheets and clothes.
- Keep a bucket of water or fire extinguisher nearby.
- Don’t leave the candle or wax warmer unattended.
- Be aware of your surroundings and your partner. Never leave a submissive bound and alone in a room without providing them the means to alert you. When leaving a sub bound and alone, make sure they have a bell, buzzer, or other device. It should be something that clearly signals “Help me, something’s wrong!”
A lot of us like being bound, chained, leashed, cuffed, and caged, but not in a room full of fatal flames. Now let’s talk about what to do when you’re done with the candles and wax.
Cleaning wax can be tedious, but we’ve got a few tricks to make it easier!
Removing Wax from Fabric
A few stray drops from wax play candles on sheets and clothes won’t ruin them forever! If it’s a small amount, you can try scraping the excess away with a dull knife. However, this might tear the fabric. Instead, try these methods:
- Put fabric in the freezer until wax turns brittle
- Break away excess wax
If there are some small spots left after this second step, you can:
- Spread the fabric over a bowl and secure with ties or rubber bands
- Pour boiling water over the affected area to melt remaining bits of wax
- Carefully scrape excess chunks with a dull knife
- Sandwich the stain with two paper towels or paper bags
- Press with an iron at its lowest temperature
- Conquer residual stains with a spot lifter
Removing Wax from Skin
Just because you’re done playing with wax doesn’t mean playtime has to come to an end. Here are some fun ideas to clean your partner of wax without killing the mood!
With your partner’s blindfold and ties still intact, use some ice cubes to harden the wax on their body. Due to their current state of semi sensory deprivation, it will take them a while to realize what has changed. The body will only feel a change in temperature without an immediate distinction between hot and cold.
After playing with the ice cubes and their drippings, move and stretch the skin to make wax fall off.
Flogs and Whips
Although it won’t remove all of the wax from your partner’s skin, flogging is a fun way to remove some of it. Of course, this may require higher skill levels to actually remove a lot of wax without hurting your partner. Approach with caution and remember – it’s all in the wrist.
What about Body Hair?
A lot of people spend a lot of money at salons every year for hair removal and waxing. However, that is not the goal of waxplay. To avoid ripping a bald spot in your sub’s chest or genitals, grab some silicone-based lube.
Spread the lube on hairier areas of the body before you start dripping. It won’t stick nearly as bad and comes off much easier. In the case of stubborn pieces left behind, try massaging them out with oil-based products.
Wax makes a Slippery Surface!
At some point, we’ve all seen a movie or TV show where someone slips on a freshly waxed floor. Despite your opinion on slapstick comedy, being the butt of the joke is no fun. If you have tile or laminate flooring, be careful about spilling puddles of candle wax.
Even if you clean up the wax itself, there is still a greasy residue left behind. So what do you do?
After the wax is gone, spray the greasy leftover stain with a water-vinegar mix. Then simply wipe it up with a clean cloth.
How to Make Clean Up Better
If you want to keep the clean-up time as short as possible, here are a few tips to save your elbow grease.
- Although it seems like a good idea in theory, waxplay should not be done in the tub. Why is this? In practice, the wax scrapes off the tub easily and stains bleach away. So what’s the problem? The wax will clog your pipes! Avoid a monster plumbing bill by keeping wax out of the tub.
- Use a shower curtain to lay under old sheets. You can easily clean the shower curtain outside and simply toss old sheets when they get too dirty. Stand or lay your partner on these layers of sheets (or hang them above them). This way cleanup is a snap!
- If you like being submissive and want to explore candle play, grab your razor. Even if you don’t normally trim or shave some areas, it will make cleanup a lot less painful. Using oil-base products to massage the wax out of hairier areas helps, but can still leave them tender. Trim up before play time and you’ll save a lot of trouble!
Ready to play? Check out our wax play recommendation guide!